Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Home

Home. What a fraught word! Where's home for you? I didn't think that I would feel so ambivalent about selling my home and moving away. First, there's the issue of the geography. I live in an amazing part of the world, where about 5% of the world's 3% of drinkable water flows past on a daily basis. It's the largest fresh water delta in the world. Somehow no one has discovered it. So, not only is it beautiful here, it's not crowded, either! We are also close to Canada, so it's not far to get out of the country, for better or worse.
Next, there's the sheer amount of time that we have lived here! We raised our three wonderful kids here. It was an awesome experience. We've been here 20 years. Hard to believe. What else is amazing about that is that many of our neighbors are here as well, so the people who have been here with us have been here for a really long, stable time in our lives. Even though we changed jobs, lost jobs, lost children and parents, these folks have been part of the pageant and part of our lives for a long enough period of time for them to be important parts of our lives.
Third is the fact that I thought I would be doing this with my husband-- moving, choosing a new house, figuring out logistics, calculating times to work, and related challenges, as well as deciding which furniture moves and which stays. This is not part of this move. My husband is already out of the picture. He is in Houston, grieving.
It was an incredible process for us. It's not over yet. I have chosen to stay here in Michigan while my husband runs point for us. I tell everyone that I am living in my college buddy's basement-- because I am. He's been amazing and supportive, but still, it's weird to be making these types of choices at this point in my life.